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My Porn Addiction

I am not sure at which point in my life I really became addicted to porn. One thing I am sure of, is that my addiction to porn started way before I began dating London escorts. Dating London escorts have not done me any harm at all. So, what happened? Is it my personality or my star sign which has made me addicted to porn? When I was growing up I really did not have a lot of parental guidance, and was left to do whatever I wanted. Spending hours with a sexy magazine in my hand wanking off as a teenager was common place and I guess took my habits with me as I grew up.

Today I am 45 years old and I have come to realise that I have rather an unhealthy interest in porn. So far I have never been able to have a decent relationship with a woman. Instead I have been booking escorts in London for most of my adult life and we all know what that is about at the end of the day. Yes, you guessed it. I am really hung up about commitment and I have never really committed to any women. Nothing wrong with dating London escorts, but not of the girls I have met at the many London escorts services which I have used, have become my life long partners.

Commitment scares the life out of me. It means having to deal with the real world and that seems to be something which simply does not work for me. This is the reason why I like to disappear into my fantasy world of porn. If you like, dating London escorts is just an extension of that. The girls at most escorts in London are not real to me, and just really fulfil a need in my life. Just like watching my porn movies.

What I have come to realise that I live in this fantasy world. Even my character in Second Life is this sex crazed guy who has a thing about dating London escorts and anything porn. I find it hard to separate him from the real me. When I stop and think about it, I realise that I don’t even know who the real me is at all. If I found out what I am really all about, I guess that I might have a change to change my life.

This has been going on for such a long time that I am not sure that a sex expert would be able to help me. Most girls I date at London escorts services keep on telling me that I only have one thing on my mind. I know it is true but I don’t want to see a counsellor. Would a counsellor be able to help me? I don’t think so. It feels like I need reprogramming but can you actually reprogram a human being? At the moment I am trying to stop buying porn movies, stop being addicted to porn, cut down on my dating habit with London escorts, and introduce some new pleasures in my life. It may work, or knowing my luck, I will end up with yet another obsession.